For my baby ~ Ferris Mokhtar van de Ven

For my baby ~ Ferris Mokhtar van de Ven;
..for all my love, my heart and soul..all belong to you! This is how ummie love you - higher than a mountain, wider than an ocean ~

Saturday, September 22, 2012

There was love once.. HAPPY 69th BIRTHDAY MAMA!!

...and the love is will be FOREVER.


you are beautiful as you are always be..

These are all what I have with me.. 
the memories.
for those sadness, I am filled with your pure heart 
and the unconditional love that you have shown and given me while we were together..
and I intend to keep those feelings forever..
until the last day of my life..

No matter how, although I am already dead in your existent,
I am nobody for you now..
but, your love is still keeping me warm..
that is the greatness of mother's love..
and I will keep calling you 'mama'
because you are my mama..
for the past, present and future and after life..

happy birthday mama
I miss you
I love you

wish me my best luck in life..
and one fine day.

Elis, your Elistje


Ibu bapa mertua telah menjadi mahram muabbad (mahram selama-lamanya iaitu tidak batal wudhu' dan haram berkahwin antara anak dan ibu tiri tersebut selama-lamanya) atas sebab perkahwinan anaknya. Oleh itu, sekiranya berlaku perceraian sekalipun, bekas menantu perempuan tersebut TIDAK BOLEH bernikah dengan bapa mertuanya, bahkan ia boleh bersalaman dengan bekas bapa mertua tersebut. Kerana bapa mertua sama taraf dengan bapa sendiri. Oleh itu, aurat menantu perempuan dengan bapa mertua adalah sama seperti auratnya dengan mahramnya iaitu bapanya sendiri atau adik-beradik lelaki yang lain. Auratnya terbatas daripada pusat hingga ke lutut. Ini bererti menantu perempuan boleh (harus) membuka rambutnya di hadapan bapa mertuanya.

- Soal Jawab JAKIM 

Sunday, September 9, 2012

I surrender...

A Story of The Butterfly & The Flower

For so many ways..
after years..
I keep on trying to find..
to understand..
and to digest..

Now, I finally found..
 the comfort to my heart..
as the consolation to my soul..
my grief of the separation with my son Ferris..
I pray for his happiness..
Nothing but the best for him..
and I am sure he is having it all..
although the lack of his mother..
but, I never fail keep on sending him love, hugs, kisses..
wishing for one fine day..
for him to feel, to know, to experience again..
my love, my hugs, my kisses which he deserves..

be patient, sayang..

ALLAH is testing us..

Ummie loves Ferris unconditionally..

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


Ummie loves Ferris so much..

Whenever you are..
Whatever you do..

you are always with us..

Selamat Hari Raya from 

ibu and babah, abang apan, anchik, 
kak Nang & Ziedan
Mommy & daddy, kak Ica, abang Da & baby Miya

Aunty G, Uncle Jack
all of us from Malaysia..








My prayers to be with you again, soon..
Ya ALLAH, makbulkanlah..

I keep his baju Melayu and his Raya's money..


Ummie loves you too much Ferris...
..and you know it well!

sayang Ferris..
hugs & kisses

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Ferris is always be the clown of my heart..

Please bring him back to me... case Ferris has forgotten or Ferris has been told anything about me..
but, i believe he is a smart boy.. he saw everything and he know what is going on..

one day.. Ferris will know the truth and he will find his way back...

because I am his mother, in my womb he has grown as a fetus..
from the food i ate he became a baby..
and i fed him..with my both hands i took care of him..
not a single second i have neglected him..

Ferris knows..

ummie misses you too much, Ferris..
be day will come.. 
we will be reunited..


Friday, April 27, 2012

Ummie's 'Pasu Art' for end of April 2012

Hye baby..
my darling smoochie smooch Ferris.. my BIG boy tho!

Do you know what ummie's been doing the whole week?
Instead of working on ummie's research... 
..beside of finishing ummie's painting...

well.. ummie is doing this!

Flower's pot painting!!!

I remember..
I used to paint flower's pot for oma every Easter.. she loved it so much..
I painted baby chicken and yellow tulips around it..
she put that flower pot just next to her island table in the kitchen..
she planted 'kruidenplanten' and she changed it almost every week..
sometimes 'peterselie','basilicum', sometimes 'bieslook' alternately..
(sorry i dont really know the English name for these cooking herbs/plants)
I'll look in the external hard drive for the photo later on..

I love doing this..
thinking of our sweet memories together while painting them..

'PASU Art'
and Acrylic base coated (as the finishing)

..just finished them all about 2 hours ago...

I painted mostly in a pair.. here goes..

1. The Green Meadow, and 2. The Yellow Sky Happy Tree

These two were inspired by the Delft Blauw ceramic, which the most popular traditional motive for souvenir from Holland.

3. De Blauwe Bloemen I, and 4. De Blauwe Bloemen II

Klompen from Delft Blauw


For these pairs, I added a little sense of my previous painting series.. 'The Cityscape'.

5. The Lonely Blue Flat in Sunrise, and 6. The Quiet Blue Flat in Twilight

7. Sweet Candy Daisy, and 8. Joyful Poppy

I painted 3 different animals for this style; a cat, a zebra and a fish..

9. The Hungry Yellow Cat

10. The Loving Zebra

11. The Long Golden Fish Making Bubbles


I love these pairs so much..they are really cute with variety of cats..

12. Notty-face Cats Upside Down

13. The Curious Cats on Yellow Pot

Well, on these two.. I painted a scenery of typical South of Netherlands. These two are related to my present studies. I painted with the influence of Fauvism, full of vibrant colors quite similar to the style from in the early 1900s art group activists of the Russian emigrants in Germany, Der Blaue Reiter. 

14. The Harvesting Time in Thermiekstraat

15. The Late Walk in Hoensbroek with Tante Jose

16. Herft in Tuinwijk, Regen in Maleisie

These two were requested by anchik, as he posted on ummie's fb wall to paint these patterns...

 17. The Beloved Cousin of Yours, and 18. The Lovely Nephew of Mine


These two are the genre of 'Spaghetti Movie'. I painted these two when I made a thought of the movie starred by Clint Eastwood and Eli Wallach (1966); The Good, The Bad and The Ugly..

19. The Branches and the Full Moon


20. The Green Cactus


Well, this is it for this week..
will get you back as soon as ummie finishes the paintings..
very soon..

missing you too much Ferris...



p.s 'peterselie' = persil, 'basilicum' = basil, 'bieslook' = chive