For my baby ~ Ferris Mokhtar van de Ven

For my baby ~ Ferris Mokhtar van de Ven;
..for all my love, my heart and soul..all belong to you! This is how ummie love you - higher than a mountain, wider than an ocean ~

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


i still remember Dr. Harris Hamzah already kept coming around checking on me...
Frank was so tired kept on checking on his pocket to me, nervous, exicted, hungry... i really love him for that! Thanx Frank...on that moment not even a minute u left me alone! ..still i could see your blue eyes looking at gentle..full of love abundantly! ..tht was my moment ~ our greatest moment! - waiting for Ferris to see the world!

..20 mins to GO!! very sure at this moment..i was PUSHING really hard with the midwife who was supporting me like the football trainer! ‎..and dr. harris hamzah was waiting right in front between my legs.. he he he he.. and Frank?? hahahaha he was damn nervous!

17:30 Dec 07, 2003 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY FERRIS!!!!

‎..i remember my 1st night havng Ferris next to me when he just born...i cant sleep and i kept on awake..just to check on him. I was too scared that was just a dream...when i saw him in the babycot, thx God..that wasnt a dream! That was real! I am really a mother now and the fetus whom I carried for 9 months 14 days...was there! He is real! He is my baby! MY FERRIS!!!

..unfortunately, now he has been taken away from me..i havent seen him for 20 months...Now, his existance was just like a BEAUTIFUL DREAM for me! God is GREAT!


  1.'s ok fiza...words just one of ways to express feelings...tapi, hati yang merasa lagi berat dan hiba... sesungguhnya kasih ibu tu sampai ke syurga.. sebab tu lah, saya tidak akan berputus asa untuk dapatkan ferris semula!!


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