For my baby ~ Ferris Mokhtar van de Ven

For my baby ~ Ferris Mokhtar van de Ven;
..for all my love, my heart and soul..all belong to you! This is how ummie love you - higher than a mountain, wider than an ocean ~

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Ummie's artworks... April 2012 progress the studies of colors, composition and brush strokes..

these all are for you... 
and these are just a beginning...

to be with you.. to be close to you.. to remember you..

as a magical chanting.. for every strokes and lines..

i am calling you.. admitting and claiming..

'You are my son, I've carried you in my womb,
I've delivered you into this world..
I've taken care of you..none of negligence.. 
but fate has written it well.. 
we have to separate..
I shall repent..'

Another hectic day of my life...going through my own vision to complete my inner ambition. Neutralize my notion to compromise my emotion. To be with you.. soon baby. I am on my way...

...thing would never be the same again. It's breaking apart every time. Yes, we deserve a second chance just a matter how it matters to us.. keep on repeating and let it slowly fading... the darkest side of my fears, i am opening to all the terrors and horrors.. for something more absolute glory of the transcendence faith.. i'm kneeing and i'm submitting.. 

..once u dirt urself with no matter what mistake u have done, whter in purpose or something u never have known would happened..even the most sensitive issue such a broken marriage u have...people will still bring it up one day to humiliate u.. to disgrace ur strength to illuminate your pride.. bcos the dirt will remain forever.. for this i'll wait for someone to respect me, my past and my future.. this wht we call 'love' heart is much pain to bear for something i am suppose's a must..being away from you..

..almost certain day i read someone is heartbroken, anger, sad and worst thing someone is dying or just passed away in my news feed.. giving me certain kinda feelings of being grateful to be alive.. giving me such a blessing that i am still able to move on and still have a 'hope'.. a hope to be and to feel the utmost happiness...soon baby.. 

..for the misty morning.. cold and shiver.. from night to dawn praying for a better day to live.. it's the bluest of the blue sky.. fresh and joyful..'s a long journey to reach you.. seeking forgiveness for the slow climber I am.. but, I am sure I will get there.. by the time all the happiness is spare for life.. and forever..

..learning to forgive but not to forget, sweetness and the tenderness, for that I will..adding up more colors into my life as I am accepting the pain and the happiness as they all blended together for certain of time..but for you, I shall my arms you should feel..

..though tears stopped..but the aching still remains..seeking for the fully happiness..thus simply is YOU.. ummie misses u so much.. 

..the fury..exasperation, frustration.. anger.. you are just full of revenge! It wont stop until it stops.. it keeps on going on in your head.. in your mind.. entire your whole body.. you just trapped inside yourself and you'd never get out.. but this not all about you.. this is how i feel and getting myself better than YOU.. i wont give up my hope to be with my absolute happiness.. dare YOU!

..I am floating baby.. I am keeping myself weightless.. I wish and I pray I could arrive there peeking on you.. to watch you grow.. from the distance.. the least I could wish.. stick with me baby.. don't ever deceive my love, because they all are for you.. just a matter of time.. the journey just has begun..

..missing you, baby.. it's burning me like a fire.. you are the only one.. you are the only one.. I'd dare to.. soon.. the sun is shinning above you, the wind is blowing all over you.. it is my love.. for this greatest love to sacrifice.. keep my prayers.. keep my faith.. for you..'s slowly fading's the deepest depth of the darkest part of the dark...there is misty dawn with the new beginning of the refreshment of the day..the bluest unlimited sky is... 

There is a sky.. there is YOU and there is all of US.. and OURS..


An eternal love story
the greatest of mother''s love.. to her son..

ummie and Ferris

ummie sayang Ferris..

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